What I miss vs. what I don't

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I've been missing my sweetie a lot more this week than last.  Maybe the second week is when the my reality for the next three months has really sunk in.  Maybe I'm just not as busy as the first week of house showings.  Maybe it's because my kids have been moodier this week.  Maybe it's just the full moon...

I even tried to think for a while today about the things I don't miss while he's not here, and here's the list I've come up with so far:

1. Having to clean up after a grown up other than myself.  Darrell is great about a lot of things.  He always puts his dirty laundry in the hamper.  He always puts the toilet seat AND lid down.  He's generally a pretty organized guy (better than I am, really).  BUT there are things he just won't do, chief among them putting his dirty dishes into the dishwasher.  He leaves clutter out until he has time to organize it.  He creates more mess just by living here, and he is after all the largest person in our household.
2. Cooking as often.  Darrell hates leftovers.  Without him here, I'm making meals the same size, but we are eating on them longer.  The other night, I made so much chicken and dumplings, that despite it being my kids' favorite meal and them both going back for seconds, I filled two large leftover containers and still had some left in the bottom of the crock pot.  I called our dog Lexi in to finish it off.  Now, I was sorry for it the next day, but we won't get into that.

I've tried to add to this list, but every time I come up with another positive about him not being here, it doesn't really ring true.  I think many women would add getting the bed to themselves.  That was nice for a few nights, but between Lexi taking up as much space as Darrell does and just plain missing knowing he is so close by, I'd give up having the whole bed again in an instant.

Most might say they are happy to have nights without snoring, but Darrell has always snored.  I've had to crank up the white noise in order to sleep without him here.  I guess his snoring is my white noise, and strangely enough, I miss it.

I miss having someone to talk to about the mundane stuff, but at the same time I find myself not wanting to talk about the mundane stuff when we talk on the phone.  I have too many important things to tell him about house showings, relocation stuff, the kids, etc.  I don't want to discuss the weather or even the new guys he is meeting at his new job.

And I know he misses the kids and I just as much, but I really don't want to give him credit for that.  I want him to rush home sooner every Friday afternoon.  I want him to leave later every Sunday.  I want him to tell me how much he loves me, even though I already know.  I want the man who makes me feel safer than anything else in this world to be here, with me, every day.