A Job Well-done

My view of what constitutes a good job at something has changed significantly over the years.  Early in my market research career, I thought it was important to be one of the ones who went above and beyond, put in extra effort, and stayed late.  I was even rewarded for that effort.  After starting out at what seemed like low pay for a college graduate at the time, I received ten and even 15-percent raises along with promotions those first few years.

Then we had our first baby, and I couldn't even imagine going back to work when she was born.  So I didn't.  I focused everything into that little girl, even though the baby stage is very tough for me.  I read every parenting book I could get my hands on, but was disappointed to find that even the experts weren't always right.  Dr. Sears was one of my favorite parenting experts, but once he insisted that exclusively breast-fed babies did not suck their thumbs, I wanted to seek him out to personally introduce him to my daughter (ok, maybe I wanted to slap him, too, but just a little).

The work of being a mommy is the toughest job I've ever had, but I still didn't find only it rewarding enough somehow.  I wanted something more than just being my daughter's mother and my husband's wife.  I admire women who can be fulfilled without a life outside their families.  The ones who bake home-made cookies not just at Christmastime, the ones who pack their children's lunches with sweet daily notes of encouragement each day, the ones who do all that stuff on Pinterest...  Ok, so maybe the perfect mom doesn't even exist, but I know there are many out there much more perfect at it than I.

So, I went back to work (the paid kind), but it was never quite the same as the work I did before.  Sometimes I'd try working really hard and putting in extra hours again, in an effort to get recognition or get ahead.  But then I'd feel like I was missing out on too much with my kids.  I tried working part-time.  I tried flexing my schedule.  I tried running my own business.

And what I learned is that it is more about the attitude and just plain learning to be more efficient as I get older than it is about finding the perfect balance or schedule.

I told a coworker recently that at the end of each pay period, the company and I are even.  I do believe that to an extent.  After all, I'm employed "at will" - they can fire me any day they choose.  But it's not quite that either.  I still want to do a good job.  I still want to make a difference.  And I hope that in my generally quiet way, I can be some influence for good in my work environment.

My family runs best when I work at least part time, not just because of the money I earn (which is important, of course), but because of the fulfillment and independence it gives me as well.  I would not work if I didn't make enough to make it worthwhile (i.e., I wouldn't have worked just to pay for daycare).  But I'm thankful that part of the reason I work is because I want to, not because I'm forced to.  And I like that I'm not forced to stay home either.

But my weekends are much more sacred to me than were when I've not worked for pay and compared to before I had kids as well.  I may glance at a work email that comes in on my phone over the weekend, but I won't sit down for long at my computer giving away my time.  Luckily, I honestly believe I'm more efficient at work than those younger coworkers putting in more time than I do.  And I don't dread things like being fired anymore.  You might think that's just because we make enough to be comfortable, but I promise it's not.  Darrell and I have both earned more at past jobs.  He could take a much more stressful job so that I could stay home, and vice versa, but neither of us want that.  Our family is too important for that, so the balance that works for us is to both work somewhat less stressful jobs.

And balance is a constant work in progress.  This Pew Research study indicates that, and I'm betting that your own life does as well.  I wouldn't ever expect my balance to be your balance, or my job well-done to match yours.  I'm just content to be in a place in life that it all feels right, for the first time in my life.  I can only pray that it lasts, and hope that you can find your balance as well.