I can honestly say that I look around most days and wonder why I've been so blessed to live this amazing life. I have everything I've ever wanted, and so much more than I need.
If you glance from a distance, you may think it's all come easily, that I've just been lucky. And in some ways, you'd be right. I'm lucky that I got a scholarship for college and that my parents paid my living expenses. But I worked hard to make the grades and test scores that got me that scholarship, and to earn my parent's trust to live away from home. I'm lucky that I ran into my soul mate living right on my dorm floor freshman year of college. But I had to work through whether he was the best man for me, overcome lots of obstacles along the way, and continue to work hard to keep the strong marriage I have. I'm lucky that I got pregnant easily, when so many struggle, had a healthy pregnancy and full-term baby girl, when many do not. But I nearly lost her once when she was only 2, and I will never forget that day. And every day since, I can't help thinking how easy it would be for her or her little brother to be taken away from this life in an instant.
If I had to boil down the rules of our household into a single statement, it would be this: Be honest, work hard, and trust God.
My children know that telling the truth is extremely important (although we've had a few discussions about not being brutally honest, etc.). They will get in much worse trouble if they do something wrong and try to hide it than if they come forward with a confession, and they know that parents typically have ways of finding out, eventually.
I expect a lot of my kids. I expect a lot of myself. I push them to work hard and always do their best. I'm much more proud of hard effort that pays off (or sometimes even doesn't) than I am of their natural abilities and things that come to them with ease. I have two intelligent children. But intelligence alone does not get you far in this life. Being "book smart" is nice, but what does that really get you if you don't apply it to living and helping others? I'm probably a difficult, hard to please parent. I imagine that's one of the things my kids will complain about me when they are grown. I expect a lot. But kids often only live up to what is expected of them. I'd rather set high standards for them than no standards at all. I just hope they know how much I still love them even when they do fall short.
Then there's the toughest one, tough for me to teach since it's been so difficult for me to learn. With a controlling personality (though typically in a passive-aggressive, under-the-surface kind of way), I don't easily place my trust in others. I've always been independent, and it's important for me to know that I could take care of myself and my kids on my own even though I have depended on my husband for a long time, too. I've always believed in God. It's the letting Him be in control and trusting part I struggle with. See, I even still put it in terms of "letting Him", as if one little human has some sort of control over God. It just feels like a safer world when we feel like we have some control. And I'm certainly still a work in progress. I just hope it is still something my kids are learning.
Be honest, work hard, and trust God. Is life really more complicated than that?
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