Create special memories in the midst of the every day routine

It can be so easy to get caught up in the mundaneness of every day.  One kid needs to be at soccer practice and the other needs to be picked up from band practice at the same time.  That means the parents divide and conquer for the third time (or more) that week.  We eat dinner in shifts.  We pass each other with a quick reminder about who needs to be where when.  And if a late meeting or other last-minute issue comes up, it gets even worse.  I'm sure Darrell and I aren't the only ones this happens to.  Some weeks it seems like we just do what we have to do to get through the week.

And that's ok sometimes, but I don't think it's ok if this is your married life each and every week, year after year.  Sometimes we've had to make decisions about letting our kids participate in fewer activities.  I've had to drop out of book club.  Darrell doesn't get to work on the RV as much as he'd like.  There are times that the house has gone longer than it should without a good cleaning and the grass is a little longer than our neighbors would prefer.  But, sometimes, catching a breath and doing something with all four of us together is much more important than anything else.  We reconnect by playing a board game, taking a drive, going out on our very cheap, very little boat, or maybe even just something as simple as watching a movie together.

I want our kids to be well-rounded.  We stress working hard in school.  I want them to get enough physical activity.  But I have no aspirations that either will make careers out of their extracurricular activities or head to the Olympics someday.  It will be even more important that they remember special times with us.

And it's also important for us to sometimes be alone without the kids.  One of the things I am most grateful for in my life is the long-standing marriage of my parents and Darrell's.  They've shown us that long marriages are possible, and can even be happy, even in this day of high divorce rates and young people putting off marriage for years in favor of just living together.  I want that legacy for my children, too.

Darrell and I get about a week a year alone, without the kids.  And I cherish it.  Sometimes we get to go someplace new.  A cruise around Hawaii for our 15th anniversary was spectacular, but the trip to WV to go whitewater rafting and on a train ride just last week was really nice, too.  Some of the time we are just home alone, getting a foreshadowing of what life will be like again in about 10 years.  We go out alone about once a month.  We often stay up late talking after the kids are in bed. 

Memories don't have to be from elaborate vacations (although I'd be one of the first to admit that every once in a while, it's really nice).  But they do need to be created, together.  Good luck creating yours!