Sometimes, to get where you want to go in life, it's a good idea to remember where you've already been. Somebody much more famous than me probably already said that, and I tried to give them credit but couldn't find it on Google. I think sometimes, we do a pretty good job at making goals for ourselves or our marriage, but feel like we aren't getting anywhere. The day to day of work, raising kids, getting through illnesses, and just living life make us feel like we're on a hamster wheel and not getting anywhere. Hamsters don't seem to mind, but we do.
But, if you take a look back and take stock of what you've accomplished in the last few years (and yes, once you hit 40 you may want to just look back at the last decade or two while you're at it), you may be surprised.
If you asked me today if I've been making progress towards my goals for my life, for my marriage, for my relationship with God and with friends and others, I'd probably say no. But, if I take a few more minutes to think about it and remember where I was five or ten years ago, I would have to admit that I am making progress, even if it's not always as fast as I'd like. Sometimes it seems like there are setbacks in one area while I'm making progress in another, but I think that's human, too. And it's ok.
I like to look back at old pictures and videos. When it involves my kids, I may get misty eyed, but it gives me a chance to see their cute little faces again. And believe me, after my teenager back-talks or rolls her eyes at me or my younger one whines for no good reason, I sometimes need to remember the younger versions of each of them to keep my cool. I'm also the picture-taker of the family though, so unless I'm asking someone else to snap a shot, I'm not in a whole lot of pictures with my kids and hubby. I do ask even random passers-by to help out and take a picture though more often than I used to, because I want the kids to see that I was there, too. I want to be present in their lives. Actually, that might even be one of my goals - to continue to be present in their lives even as they push me away more in the teenage years.
But it's part of the same thing - taking stock in where we've come from. I think it's important. Darrell and I just sit and talk sometimes about how we were when we were dating or early on in marriage. There are things we miss about having lots of time just for us, but we've grown up a lot, too, so there are plenty of things we don't miss - things we used to argue about and struggle with, for instance. And looking back over what we've had over the years helps us look forward to a time when we'll live alone again. I love my kids. I'll help them out all I can, but I certainly plan to give them wings to fly on their own.
So, take a trip down memory lane with your spouse now and then, or even on your own. I think you'll be glad you did.
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