Have you ever wondered why life starts within our bodies, why we carry that precious life for nine months before we even get to meet those precious little people that become our children? It's so amazing. There are so many reasons that I believe in God, but the miracle of creating life within me is certainly one of them.
It all starts with moms. I didn't really know how much my mom loved me until I had a child of my own. She told me that you love your kids more than your husband. What I ended up learning is that it is a completely different kind of love than the love for your spouse. I really don't think now that one is stronger than the other, but they are just so different. I would step in front of a train, a bullet, or any other danger to protect my child. I would expect Darrell to protect himself. It would be very hard, but I think I could live without Darrell. I can't even begin to imagine how I could live without my kids - if I lost one of them I think I'd go on somehow for the other; if I lost both, well, I can't even bring myself to think about that. On the other hand, I am raising these children to go out into the world on their own, while I am loving my husband to live with for the rest of our lives. By loving Darrell, I show my children what a good marriage can be, and hope and pray that they each find exceptional mates of their own. The two loves are different, but just as important.
When you have one child, you can't imagine that you could love the next as much. You worry that you'll be taking something away from the first child. And if you wait several years between the two like we did, maybe you worry about it more than some do. But then, almost magically, your mother love expands the minute you see that second child. And, suddenly, you realize that this love is just as strong. It's ok even to love your two children a little differently - they are different people after all. But you love them just as much. It's amazing, really.
My mother gave me so much, without asking for anything in return. She was still a teenager when I was born. And although happily married, she dropped out of college for me. She didn't get to go back to finish college until I was in middle school. I'm sure a lot of her dreams were put on hold, maybe even given up entirely, just for me. I can't remember ever wanting for anything. I could ask for whatever I wanted for Christmas, and then I'd get it. She even let Santa get me all the good stuff. She made great dinners, sent me off to school in cute clothes, kissed my "boo boos", gave us a great home, and took my sister and I to church even though our dad did not go with us. She was overprotective of us, so I wasn't allowed to do a lot of the things my friends were. That may sound negative, but looking back, I realize that I easily avoided trouble that I may have found otherwise. She gave us responsibilities at home including keeping our rooms tidy and helpling clean the house. And I didn't even know to appreciate any of this until I had a child of my own at age 27.
And that man I love so much? The one I've called husband for nearly 20 years? He has a wonderful mother. Many of the great qualities I love in him came from her. She wanted him for so long, trying to get pregnant for several years. I'm sure she gave as much of herself to her son and daughter as my mother gave to us. She tried to continue teaching for a while after finally having kids, but then gave that up to be home with her kids. She's not a natural cook, but she provided well-balanced meals for her family anyway. She insisted on moving away from the city so that they could have a better home on the river. She was frugal, not even buying things I'm sure she wanted, so that her kids could go to college and not worry about having to pay anything for it. You never have to worry about clean clothes in her house, and when she visits us, she is likely to fold any clothes she might find lingering in my dryer. She raised a wonderful son, and then gave him away to me without question.
Thank you, Mom. I can't imagine where I'd be without you. You gave me everything and more.
And thank you to the other lady I've come to also call "Mom", the wonderful mother of my husband.
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