Simplify the Equation

I like algebra, calculus and statistics.  I can simplify fractions and polynomials, all while actually enjoying it.  I like to look at satisfaction trends, and dig into the other numbers and comments from a survey to come up with an explanation.  I somehow thought those things might translate well into an engineering degree in college.  They didn't, but I did get a math and stats degree.  Yes, I'm a geek, Darrell's a geek (actually, he's closer to a full-fledged nerd), and we are trying very hard to raise geeky children, but I digress.

Darrell and I decided before we even married that divorce was not an option.  Now, I've seen lots of cases of divorce being the right thing, or at least that it worked out well later on.  But, for me, there are only two reasons that I would divorce Darrell:  1. if he beat the kids or me; 2. if he cheated on me.  After 20 years, so far, so good on those two.  I know of couples who live together for a while after getting divorced.  I'm not saying that there aren't reasons for this, but if I ever want to divorce Darrell, he's going to need to move far, far away, because I'm going to want very badly to hurt him physically.  I don't admire that about myself, but I know that it's true.  Of course, go back to those two reasons being the only ones, and it might make a little more sense.

We both have examples of long marriages in our families.  I won't say that they are perfect marriages, just like I won't say that my marriage is perfect either.  But they stayed together and are committed to each other to this day.  My parents went through getting married as teenagers, having a daughter before either of them would be legally allowed to drink a beer today, going through a long layoff and a few career changes for my dad, my mom going back to school to become a teacher, taking many years to build their dream home because they could not afford to do it quickly, and raising my nephew just to name a few things.  Darrell's parents went through getting married right before his dad went off to fight in Vietnam, several years of infertility, his mother having (and surviving!) cancer when the kids were young, moving and uprooting two middle school kids, and surviving and learning to enjoy being retired together.

And that's the kind of legacy Darrell and I want to leave for our kids.  Divorce just isn't an option.  We've simplified the equation.  We just have to make it work, and so we do.  And you know what?  We're very happy, too.  Maybe not every day, but overall, this is the happiest marriage and happiest life I ever could have imagined.