Where are we from?

We recently went on our first family cruise.  It was the first time my kids have been in another country.  It was probably the only vacation we'll get to take together like that while our teenage daughter still lives at home.  It was, in every way I can imagine, an awesome trip.

As we met people from many different US states and many different countries, a question was asked of us frequently, and the question was clearly intended to be for our family and assumed to have one simple answer:  Where are you from?

This Pew research survey is a little dated, but I continue to see similar statistics that indicate people in the US are just not very mobile, in general.  Most people have lived in the same state, many of those even in the same town, their entire lives.  Darrell and I, however, fall into the 15% who have lived in four states or more, and I'd be willing to bet we're in an even more select group than that 15% would indicate.  We've lived in six states and at least 10 different towns/cities.  We've owned seven different homes.  Our children were born in two different states.  We were born in two different states, and unlike most couples, we didn't end up choosing either of those states to "settle down" in.

So, what is a quick and simple question for most families requires a lengthy explanation from us.  Something like this (if I'm the one answering):  Well, I'm from West Virginia and Darrell is from New Jersey.  We met in college in West Virginia.  We moved to New Jersey right out of college thinking we'd find good jobs there, but found work in Michigan instead.  We left Michigan for the warmer climate of North Carolina, where our daughter was born, moved around there but ended up back in Michigan.  We left Michigan for good in hopes that we could settle back in West Virginia, where our son was born.  We left West Virginia for better work in Kentucky, where we really thought we'd finish raising our kids, but instead moved to Indiana seven years later.  I've stopped saying we won't move again, but I hope we can stay put until both kids are through high school now (at which point the teenager usually pipes in that she doesn't believe that).

Sometimes when we just mention that we've lived so many places, we get knowing looks and questions about whether we are military or if we were relocated for Darrell's job.  But we've actually never been relocated within the same company from one city to another, and the only one who has ever considered a military career in our family is possibly our daughter.  Every move seemed to have a good reason at the time, but it was also a choice.  There were times that it seemed a layoff was imminent, and we just didn't wait around for that.  While most people confine their job searches to the specific town where they actually currently live, we just give a general geographic area spanning multiple states.

Despite all of this, I never have a problem answering where I'm from.  I am from West Virginia, and proud to be.  I fell in love with a Jersey boy.  While many people say they'd follow their love anywhere, I like to think I've proven it.  I've given my children a bigger perspective on life by moving with them.  They've learned by necessity how to make new friends and work hard.  I really don't know what they'll say when they are grown and asked where they are from.  But I do think they will always know they are loved and have a home.

Thoughts of greener pastures and moving over the (cube) wall...

I don't write a lot about my job, in part because I'm not sure many folks would find it interesting, but mostly because I don't want to somehow jeopardize it by doing so.  But a lot has been weighing on my mind the past several months in relation to my job, so it's come to the point that I just have to write some of it down.

While nothing particularly bad has happened at work over the past year, I had come to think recently that I was not very appreciated there anymore.  Part of this was due to a few things that I was told would happen that didn't come to pass, part was due to recent hires seemingly being treated better than I in ways, and the rest was really just that intuition-y feeling that I sometimes get but can't describe. (I should say though that my intuition, which over the last several years I've come to believe is really God prodding at me, usually proves to be right).

I was fed up enough that I applied for a few job listings. Out of three online applications, two of them contacted me.  I had phone interviews with both, and even went for an in-person interview with one of the companies.  In the end, I was that company's second choice, and their first choice accepted the job offer.  I learned this even before the company followed up with me by looking up the position on LinkedIn.  Through that, I learned that their top choice had been out of work for a few months already due to her prior employer going bankrupt and that she had a very similar professional background compared to me.  She was of course able to start right away.  I have no idea of the salary offered, or if her ability to quickly start when I said in the interview I'd need about one month due to giving notice and scheduled vacation time had anything to do with it, but everything I learned certainly made me not resent her getting the job over me.

The other company asked to schedule an in-person interview, but over the course of the phone conversation, I learned that it was even farther away than my current job's commute, without the opportunity to work from home with any regularity. I already rush out of the office sometimes just in time to grab one kid or the other and get to their activities, and I work from home on their most activity-filled days whenever possible. I knew I could not do all that AND manage an even longer commute and potentially more stress-filled job. But, I also felt a real connection with the hiring manager, who did the phone interview with me herself (rather than the first company that screened me through their recruiting department).  She asked to connect with me on LinkedIn even though I declined the in-person interview.  She suggested a local women's business group that I should join, and perhaps even become part of their market research committee.  Since one of my hopes and goals this year has been for networking opportunities and even the opportunity to make additional friends and put down roots in Indy, it almost seemed like this was quite possibly the main reason I'd felt compelled to apply for other jobs, especially that job in particular.

Meanwhile, things have also turned around somewhat for my current job.  I recently moved back over the (cube) wall to marketing, which seems like a better all-around fit for me, just like I thought it was.  My now fourth manager since starting this job is not only someone I respect, but also someone I believe understands the value and complexity of the work I do AND will "have my back" so to speak at work, which is most of what I need a manager for anyway at this point in my career.  It isn't that I've disliked my other managers there, but just that this seems the best fit for me, and I really hope it is.  Also, after a few months of frustration at not being allowed to spend any money on projects and being idle enough that I felt like I had to search for and create work for myself, I'm busy at work again lately.  I even received a small award at work.  Not that it was anything big, but it's amazing how much knowing that folks appreciate you (and getting a $25 Starbucks gift card) does to renew enthusiasm.

I don't expect that where I currently work will be the company I retire from, but it has some great benefits that I've decided I'm not in a hurry to give up.  I've changed my primary "career improvement focus" to networking and also finding a way to get more training.  And that decision feels right right now, which is all I can really hope for anyway.

Is there something better for me out there either now or down the road?  Maybe.  Maybe even probably.  But being satisfied right now feels very good.  And that's good enough for me (at least for now).

Full disclosure:  There's also a slight chance I feel more content lately due to seeing sights like this for a week straight...