"They don't stay little long!"
"You'll wonder where the time went."
"The days are long, but the years are short."
If you've been a mom for more than a few days, you've probably heard them all and more. And if you are a young, sleep-deprived mom, you may not even believe it most days. Your first child will never start talking, walking, or will head off to school still not quite potty trained (or so you think). The temper tantrums, fussing, etc. will just never stop. When you hear, "It's just a phase" for the umpteenth time, you may just about fall off the deep end. But it is, and it does.
This life is so short, but it doesn't always seem that way. I feel sometimes like I learned this earlier than some. You see, I always knew I wanted to be a mother. But I was told once that might not happen. And when we tried, and it happened so quickly, I was so grateful. But then the first year of my daughter's life was just so much harder than I'd ever imagined. I loved this little person to distraction. But being a mom was so much more work than anyone had really said (and believe me, I read all the magazine articles and books I could get my hands on while pregnant).
And my little ones didn't stay as little as yours did or are, I'd be willing to bet. You know how they tell you your new baby should be back up to birth weight by that first two-week check-up? Mine gained two pounds right away on top of that. My baby girl wore her newborn clothes and diapers for just a few days after coming home. And my baby boy was born tall. And I can't even blame my husband for the large babies and fast growth - he was tiny at birth compared to me. But the effect is, that I looked around at all the tiny newborns around me, and I really never had one of those. Time seemed to speed by, in the rate of growth of my babies at least, for me even faster than it was supposed to.
People do warn you about those sleepless nights. Not that I think most of us really believe them before it happens to us personally. And not that we really remember once it has passed. After all, how could so many moms have more babies once they realize how painful it is? Because we have the capability of forgetting the pain, or at least seeing through to the amazing love we get in return.
But fewer warn you about it being even busier once the activities start. I can't count the number of practices/activities I've attended or dropped my kids off for at this point. It might be easier to count the stars in a clear night's sky. There are evenings when a third parent would be handy to get just two children to where they need to be on time. And I assure you, my kids are not among the most active that I know.
I don't really care anymore if things in this life are fair for me, as long as I have my husband and kids, extended family, and a few friends. But oh how I ache if just the smallest thing isn't fair for one of my kids. While I am preaching to them that it's a great time to learn life just isn't fair, I feel my heart breaking at the same time.
They spend just nine months growing inside us, but 17 or 18 years growing apart. One day, you look eye to eye with your teenage daughter or son. The next, you look again and it seems maybe you are even looking up, just a bit. Maybe you are even trading clothes or shoes (or at least could if not for the gender or style difference). How did that happen? How did she go from the little girl waving good-bye at preschool to the teenager rolling her eyes at your current concern?
Suddenly, every day it seems, all you are hoping for is for time to slow down. When you stressed and lost sleep deciding when to send her to Kindergarten, you only weighed her academic level and social skills. You didn't consider how you would feel when she was 15 and would be going off to college in only 2 short years.
And what of the little brother? The one who has never had your love all to himself? The one growing up even more quickly than your first-born? Will time speed up even more once he is the only child in the nest?
Every day is a gift, but not necessarily an appreciated one. I just hope my children know how much I love them, each and every day. Even if I am not the best at always showing it. Even as I am trying hard to be their parent much more than their friend. I love you both for the possibility of what you would be inside of me all those years ago, for the fine young people you are becoming, and for the upstanding adults I know so well you are capable of becoming. I only hope I've done half the job God expected of me as your mother.
It also might not hurt if you have a child or two JUST. LIKE. YOU. someday so that you can really understand...
☺
No comments:
Post a Comment