Be aware of each other's "hot" buttons... even if you can't help pushing them sometimes

Darrell hates it when I stick stuff of his in places to "put it away", and then he can't find it.  I'm notorious for wanting things around the house picked up, even if that means hiding some of it in closets or a room where it won't be seen when we have company over.  He is more organized than I, but doesn't mind leaving stuff lying around the house until he gets around to putting it away, the right way.  So, we have an agreement now - I give him a few days to a few weeks, warn him, and THEN "stick it" out of the way if he still hasn't dealt with it.  Works pretty well for us.

There are lots of other compromises we've reached over the years, but at the same time, there are still things that set each of us off that we can't seem to control or stop.  Yes, we talk about it and pray about it, and maybe these issues will continue to get better as well.  But, we're both human. 

One of those hot buttons for Darrell is when I am not feeling well in a way that we can't directly make better or diagnose easily.  For instance, he had one of his biggest outbursts of all time while I was pregnant with our daughter and started having early contractions one evening.  We had family visiting and I think he felt I'd done too much with them.  When I started having some mild contractions, and didn't do things exactly the way he wanted me to, he basically lost it.  He started giving orders like a drill sergeant and was basically a jerk to me, and even to my mom.  (Don't worry, jerk is one of the names we are allowed to call each other when it applies.)

We had a more mild case of this yesterday, which is what made me think of it.  He knows (at least right after) that he's not being reasonable, or at the very least not being sensitive and supportive.  He apologizes.  He's a great and nice guy most of the time.  I think he just can't handle the thought of something REALLY being wrong with me, something he can't fix.  Yes, it's a good thing I wasn't the one who had cancer when we were young.  I know he tries but just can't control it in that moment.  So, I deserve the apology.  But I forgive him. 

I kind of equate it to that time of the month when I'm sometimes completely unreasonable.  Just a little different circumstances.  So, now you know, Darrell isn't perfect.  Of course, if you knew him well already, you probably suspected that.  None of us is perfect anyway.