I think the one constant in this life is change. My kids are a great reminder of that. I would swear to you that my son got off of the bus a little taller yesterday then when I sent him off to school. I look at pictures of Darrell and I from 20+ years ago, and we hardly look like the same people we are today. I could tell that 21-year-old girl things that she wouldn't even believe.
In a great book I'm reading called "The Meaning of Marriage", Timothy Keller writes, "When I married my wife, I had hardly a smidgen of sense for what I was getting into with her. How could I know how much she would change over 25 years? How could I know how much I would change? My wife has lived with at least five different men since we were wed--and each one of the five has been me." I can so identify.
We spend so much time either hoping things will change or praying that they won't. We make changes to ourselves, whether good or bad, hoping for positive outcomes. We want to change our spouses, and get disappointed when it doesn't work out. While change is natural, the only ones we really have the ability to change directly are ourselves. Sometimes we make choices that have a profound impact on our lives immediately. Sometimes we make choices that seem small and insignificant at the time but trickle down into a different life years and years later. Everyone makes some good choices and changes, and some bad ones.
So, what's the trick to staying together and loving your spouse through all of these changes? Make the big choices together. Go through the changes together, even when he doesn't change the way you had in mind. You don't always have to look forward to change, but having a partner to go through things with sure does help. Be committed to each other.
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