What I would tell High School Junior Jennifer
She looked something like this:
Dear 17-year-old Jennifer,
I get it. He broke your heart. And it's ok to cry. It's even ok to be a little jealous of how quickly he has a new girlfriend, like you didn't matter at all. Eleven months of dating is such a long time in high school. I mean, it was just about time to measure in YEARS, after all.
For starters, think back and remember that you weren't always the greatest to him either. Remember that time you almost broke up with him for a boy on a different school's track team? I mean, you even let that other guy stop by your house, and you held hands with him once! Never mind that you were honest with your boyfriend about it and decided you wanted to work things out. That is cheating. I wish I could say it would be the last time you'll do something like this. Luckily, you'll learn better before real, life-long commitment.
Next, you don't realize it just yet, but soon you will: at least part of the reason he is breaking up with you is because you won't go to the next base. If the rumors prove at all true, he can now find girls who will maybe even go all the way. You know what I mean, and really, you should be glad that he didn't pressure you for this.
I wish I could tell you that you will take this time to get closer to your few good friends. No, instead you will date one of your best friend's recent exes briefly. That is pretty stupid of you, too. But, 17-year-olds don't think long-term, and being book-smart certainly doesn't make you an exception. Your other best friend will be really wrapped up in her serious boyfriend, but you can't blame her. You were the same way when she needed you more and you were busy spending as much time as you could with your boyfriend.
So, you'll write poems, mope, and read in your room. A lot. Too much. You'll dream of going to college out of state, but you won't do much about it. You'll believe your school counselor when he tells you there is no need to take the ACT or SAT again because your scores are very good.
Have I mentioned how much better life gets after high school?
And while the end of junior year and much of your senior year of high school just plain stink, there is some good that you will always remember. You get a full tuition scholarship and at least get to live away at college! It's in-state, but still, that's huge! You will have another boyfriend by the end of senior year, just in time to go to your senior prom with him. And he's really cute, and extremely sweet. He won't break your heart, but that's all I'm telling you about him for now.
Take a day at a time for now. Don't feel bad about quitting band for a bit so you can letter in cross country. It won't be something you will regret. Running will be some of your best memories from high school. Running will be something you'll come back to again someday. It doesn't matter that you don't win races in high school or qualify for states. What matters is the way you feel when you run. Never forget that. And always appreciate that you are able to run.
You are still learning who you are. But you have done a good job of keeping your options open. You have worked hard to get good grades, and it will pay off. You have tried hard to be a "good" girl, and you will be glad.
Life is difficult, but it might never seem harder than when you are a teenager. Or, at least when it does seem even harder, you are more sure of yourself and more sure of your friends and loved ones. It is amazing how much that helps when it counts.
Hold tight. Hug your mom, dad and little sister. Spend time with your grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Make sure they know you love them. Listen to your friends when they want to talk. Get lost in a good book when you need to. The best is definitely yet to come, I promise.
Love, 42-year-old Jennifer
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