Love what you have

Love what you already have.  It sounds so simple, doesn't it?  But I remember wanting so much more than that. 

As a kid, I was in a hurry to grow up.  It seemed like I was the last kid alive to get a 2-wheeled bike and learn to ride it (I was 7).  It seemed like I was the last girl to have her first boyfriend (I was a freshman in high school).  I wanted to go to college.  I wanted a husband, a career, a nice house, and a family.  I was a good kid - my mom will even tell you so.  I worked hard.  God was good to me.  I got it all.

It didn't all work out exactly as I imagined, but I did get all that I wanted and so much more.  But even as a young adult, I remember wanting more, and more, and more.  We got our first house when Darrell and I were only 22 years old, barely out of college.  We had good jobs.  But I wanted a bigger house.  Darrell wanted nicer cars.  It never seemed like we had quite enough.

A funny thing started happening a few years ago though.  I started to feel like I had everything I wanted, except the time to enjoy it all.  It's funny how things all work out sometimes.  But, sometimes, you have to give up a little of what you have to keep and appreciate the rest.  I had what I wanted, but I worked so much that all my son wanted at the time was more of me.

I'm not saying that I have it all figured out yet, but I quit the job that was consuming too much of me.  I started a business that was successful for one year, but not so much the second year.  And then I quit that, too.  But it doesn't feel like I gave anything up or quit.  My life is still very full.  I'm giving some extra time to my kids, to my husband, to just living for a while.  And then I'll look for a new job this fall, and hope that the balance works out better this time.

And in the meantime, I don't want a bigger house anymore.  I don't want better behaved kids.  I don't want a husband who cooks, cleans, and does my every bidding in addition to having a good job and fixing stuff around the house.  I don't want a job making six figures.  I want my imperfect husband, kids, friends, and pets.  I want my lived-in comfy house.  I want to find a job, but only if it adds to my life rather than taking away from my family.  I want and love what I already have, maybe even too much sometimes.

But that's a subject for another post...