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Friday, June 29, 2012

The right kind of jealousy is a good thing.

I think jealousy gets a bad rap.  There is a type of jealousy that I think is good, something you actually want in a relationship.  The Bible tells us that God is a jealous God.  I used to wonder about that.  I mean, as kids weren't we all taught that it was wrong to be jealous?  We know that envy is bad, and really isn't jealousy just a synonym of envy?

But I also know that one of the first signs that I loved Darrell was when I was a little jealous of another girl who I could tell liked him. My college roommate was quick to let the girl know that he was already taken. Darrell acted like he didn't even know. But, that little spike of jealousy told me something important. This was a man I wanted all to myself; I didn't want to share. And that's ok. I'd even argue that it's healthy.

I'm certainly not advocating that either spouse actively do something to make the other one jealous. I've seen that behavior, and it just isn't nice. But, don't ever sell yourself short by settling for someone you've never been jealous to lose.

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