My parents provided well for us growing up, giving me much of what I wanted in addition to what I needed. But, I also grew up seeing my dad struggle to find a new profession after coal mining for several years and my mom go back to college to help support us. There seemed to be little professional future in my home state. I just expected to go away to college and then move out of state to find work.
My general plan was to rent an apartment in NYC with Shara and Rachel when we started our careers. I'd be a writer/historian/electrical engineer (or something like that). I'd find Mr. Right and get married in about 5 years, have kids in about 10. The details were hazy, but I was sure it would work out something like that.
Instead, I was convinced by a full-tuition scholarship to go to school in-state, met my future husband before the first day of classes, and changed my major to mathematics. The move to New York City with friends became a move to South Jersey with my new husband. And it actually took a lot of work to find good jobs. Within a few months, we were moving to a suburb of Detroit, Michigan, which might as well have been across the country for as much as I knew about Michigan at the time. Instead of renting an apartment, we bought a house. They actually pre-qualified us for a mortgage just based on the promise of a good job. Come to think of it, that may have been my first inkling that mortgages were a little too easy to get and that it would all come crashing down for this country at some point.
Through all of this, Darrell and I quickly learned to rely on each other. We talked to our friends and parents sometimes for advice, but we were suddenly states away from everyone we knew, and we each really only had one other person to depend on day in and day out. I know not everyone wants or has the opportunity to move away, but for us, it was a great way to forge a strong marriage quickly.
Did we make some mistakes along the way? Sure, we did. Who buys a truck because they've just been told they have cancer? Us, although in our defense we did purchase the extra insurance that would pay the car payments if the worst happened. We even got our money refunded for that a few years later.
Whether by design or luck, I feel like this is one area of marriage where we "got it right": "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." (Genesis 2:24, KJV). I love my parents and I love my friends, but Darrell is the one I cleave to.
My general plan was to rent an apartment in NYC with Shara and Rachel when we started our careers. I'd be a writer/historian/electrical engineer (or something like that). I'd find Mr. Right and get married in about 5 years, have kids in about 10. The details were hazy, but I was sure it would work out something like that.
Instead, I was convinced by a full-tuition scholarship to go to school in-state, met my future husband before the first day of classes, and changed my major to mathematics. The move to New York City with friends became a move to South Jersey with my new husband. And it actually took a lot of work to find good jobs. Within a few months, we were moving to a suburb of Detroit, Michigan, which might as well have been across the country for as much as I knew about Michigan at the time. Instead of renting an apartment, we bought a house. They actually pre-qualified us for a mortgage just based on the promise of a good job. Come to think of it, that may have been my first inkling that mortgages were a little too easy to get and that it would all come crashing down for this country at some point.
Through all of this, Darrell and I quickly learned to rely on each other. We talked to our friends and parents sometimes for advice, but we were suddenly states away from everyone we knew, and we each really only had one other person to depend on day in and day out. I know not everyone wants or has the opportunity to move away, but for us, it was a great way to forge a strong marriage quickly.
Did we make some mistakes along the way? Sure, we did. Who buys a truck because they've just been told they have cancer? Us, although in our defense we did purchase the extra insurance that would pay the car payments if the worst happened. We even got our money refunded for that a few years later.
Whether by design or luck, I feel like this is one area of marriage where we "got it right": "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." (Genesis 2:24, KJV). I love my parents and I love my friends, but Darrell is the one I cleave to.
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