There's > One Mr. or Mrs. Right

Yes, folks, I believe there is more than one Mr. Right.

I believe that God led Darrell and I together, and He's certainly had a hand in keeping us together.  It seems as simple as can be - we lived on the same dorm floor, two honors geeks who met before the first day of classes.  Fell in love and lived happily ever after.  But it's really a lot more complicated than that.  There are so many times we could have given up on each other.  We just didn't.  We chose not to.

I think there have to be some basic things in a dating relationship or you should give up, move on, and find someone who is a better fit.  You should ask yourself some important questions, like:  Do we share the same basic religion/faith/ethical beliefs?  Do we both want children or agree that we don't?  Do we feel the same about money and spending or at least understand up front the other's tendencies?  Do we understand and support each other's plans for the future?  Am I attracted to this person?

You don't have to have all of the "right" answers, because there really aren't 100% right answers for many of the questions you should ask.  But, you need to have the conversations before you decide to get married (and have them again after that because things can change again, and again, and again).

I've known some people who thought that getting engaged/married would improve their relationship.  Ha!  That's crazy talk.  Should you be in love before you get married?  I think so.  Will that make everything after marriage easy?  Absolutely, unequivocally, NO!

Should you be sure this guy/girl is the one and only soul mate out there in the world just for you before you decide to get married?  I think not.  I like to think that Darrell is the best man for me and that I'm the best woman for him, but I'm also fairly certain that I could have been happy with someone else, and I think the same is true for him.  I also think there are lots of men that I would NOT have been happy with, and I even dated a few of them, but at least I learned from that.

It never really scared me that 50% of marriages end in divorce, probably because it's been that way for as long as I can remember.  What scares me is that so many young couples are choosing not to get married, or to wait years just trying out living together before they do.  There are a lot of statistics that support that being married is really good for you in the long run.  It's much more than an outdated piece of paper. 

I'm not saying that everyone should get married at ages 20 and 21 like Darrell and I did, but if you've found a good match, why wait years and years?  Are you hoping for someone better to come along?  Because, really, there's not just one Mr. or Mrs. Right.  Finding Mr. or Mrs. Good for Me doesn't mean settling for the first not horrible person that comes along, but it does mean not holding out your entire life for a Prince Charming that doesn't even exist.  Marriage isn't the fairy tale, but it can be so much more than that if you find someone good and commit to make it work.